The Practice

This is a re-post from facebook, but it seemed appropriate, S.


I have decided to record here some of the things I do as part of my spiritual practice. The first reason I thought of doing this is that I get inquiries en masse at different moments in my life and it seems I answer the same question over and over. A lot of these involve more practical application then theory so I was moved to start recording my own practices in hopes that they might be of some assistance to others. As I mulled it over in my mind several other reasons came up so I determined from that that it was a proper course of action. The results will let me know, I suppose. So here goes!

The current question.

“How do you still have true compassion and concern for the well-being of these people who have caused you so much pain/harm/distress?”

The short and cryptic answer is “enlightenment”. But I am always cautious of someone who claims enlightenment for themselves. It is, in fact, a paradox. Those who are enlightened do not claim to be unless and until they have been called so by many, many others and then only as a convenience for communication. After all, it is hard to teach when one is arguing semantics. The point is the answer gives no benefit to the inquirer.
“Master, how do you still love them?”
“Because I am enlightened…you’re not enlightened so you’re screwed…happy hating, Mr. “Ima be a slug in my next life”…hahaha!!”
Funny, but not very effective. And I definitely do not claim enlightenment.

So we move on to, “well, because I have forgiven them”.
This also leaves the supplicant somewhat dissatisfied as it lacks a how. And most who have forgiven don’t have an answer as they just came about forgiveness without much conscious effort. This happens with general hurts, sometimes, but what about the really big hurts or the more common little day to day offenses effected by our loved ones and those we are proximate to such as coworkers or schoolmates?
“Well you just forgive them” Yeah, like that works!

So the question that logically follows is “How do we forgive?”

About a year ago I started the following practice. It is a variation of the Shambhala Buddhist practice of Maitri. (No need to correct me here. I know, and the people that don’t know, don’t care)

The practice is done as a meditation but does not have to be formal (sitting on a cushion) as much as mindful. I actually do it often throughout my day as well as in a formal meditation. There are two points; you must be aware of the FEELING of forgiveness and you must attempt to withhold judgment.

You will move from feeling forgiveness for someone who is easy to forgive through stages to feeling it for someone who is difficult to forgive.

I begin with myself in mind. I don’t think of the things I feel I have done wrong. I do not judge. I only see myself as a whole and complete person. Happy, effective and however I want to truly be. I try to visualize a perfect “me”.
Then I say or think;

“I forgive myself. I offer myself Love and Understanding. I allow myself Peace, Joy and Freedom from my own judgments.”

You may vary these words to your liking as long as they relay forgiveness AND non judgment.

Note: Some people are so filled with self dislike that they find this first stage difficult. I would advise sticking with it as I believe we cannot give that which we do not have. If you cannot forgive yourself, you will not be able to truly forgive others. But if this is unbearable to you, you may start with your spouse, or parent or child or goldfish. The goal is to start with someone that is easy to forgive.

Next I move on to someone who is only slightly less easy to forgive.
I choose my children or some other family member as they have little indiscretions throughout the day that are very annoying but easily forgiven.

So I, again, visualize this person or persons as whole happy and complete beings with no emphasis on the actual offenses and no judgments of their actions.

“I forgive my Brother. I offer my Brother Love and Understanding. I allow him Peace, Joy and Freedom from my judgments.”

(Remember to FEEL it)

In these first two stages I learn to let go of petty offenses for my own sake. I release the pent up feelings of negativity that are associated with daily living. They are, after all, simply ways that the lower self uses to control the attention of the Higher Self.

Now I move on to the third stage. Same thing; more difficult. The subject of this stage is often the disgruntled coworker or in my case guest at the hotel…somebody outside of my immediate life who does something to upset me during my day; somebody easy to be angry at but perhaps harder to actually forgive. And usually, for me anyway, someone I have no desire to give a second thought to. But that promotes separation, not Unity, so I proceed. I tend to think family members fall into this category fairly often as well.

This example will be a crabby bank teller named Carol. Carol was not only rude, but appeared quite incompetent and actually wasted 3/4 of my lunch hour with her shenanigans…I was very upset. Once again, I visualize a happy and whole Carol.

“I forgive Carol. I offer Carol Love and Understanding. I allow Carol Peace, Joy and Freedom from my judgments.”

That will take a couple of recitations before it feels like I have actually forgiven. But that primes me for the final stage. In this stage I will extend forgiveness to those who most would perceive as “unforgivable”. As an example I will use “The Abusive Parent”. For those who have suffered abuse, forgiving it can seem impossible. This is where this practice gets truly serious and can effect dramatic change in your life. Please note that neither I nor my siblings were EVER abused by our parents. This is a fictional example.
If you have no one you can immediately think of then feel free to stop at the last stage. Others, knowing themselves a little deeper, may wish to address larger issues.
"Politicians" comes to mind here.

First I must visualize the person. This can be extremely difficult in and of itself. Now, I must visualize the person as a whole and happy, complete person without flaw. Again, this is very hard to do and just getting that visualization may be enough at first. Please don’t traumatize yourself!
Then I recite.

“I forgive my Parent. I offer my Parent Love and Understanding. I allow my Parent Peace, Joy and Freedom from my judgments.”

I reiterate here that you must try to actually FEEL the forgiveness.
It will be difficult like breaking through a wall, but once the feeling strikes you there is a wonderful sensation of release. There is an immediate healing of Spirit which takes place.

So there it is. This practice has helped me to forgive many small things and a few really big things over the last few years. It keeps all of the daily stresses caused me by myself and others from becoming overwhelming and a source for other issues. I have yet to become perfect, but this is one of my practices that help me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.
I welcome your thoughts.

Briefly...2.0

It has been some time since I posted to this blog. I have been posting irregular to facebook but, in truth, I simply lack the discipline for blogging! That being said, I do wish to try anew. I will be starting NEW BLOG today that will serve as my personal message to my estranged step daughter...(hmmm...I've never called her that before) but I also intend to begin posting here again as well. If you're still following me, you will receive a lil' notification that I have posted. May that be your "heads-up" to look for more! In the meantime, feel free to look over my facebook page and follow me on twitter (twitter.com/Lessthan3tim) some of my best stuff goes there! Love to all.

Briefly...

Our conditions often determine our perspective. The condemned man looks outward with judgement. If we are aware or this, we can avoid the pitfalls of it. Before you pretend to know what someone else is thinking, look at your situation and be sure it is not your own thoughts you percieve.

Deck your halls

The Holidays are times that are especially inclined toward emotional violence as we are forced by tradition to spend time with and act courteous toward those we may not particularly care to.
You know, our Loved Ones...

Why do we still attend dinners and such with our families if we do not truly wish to be around them? Why is there this obligation to be offended by the people that offend us the most?

It seems to me that we attend out of a desire to play in the great drama that is Life. We like to say things like,"I have to go or my Mom, that bitch, will have a fit and I'll never hear the end of it". Poor me, I blame my childhood.
Or,"well if I don't show up my poor sister will be there all alone with my asshole brother."
Super Sibling to the rescue!!!
What a load of shit. We go because we know that we are not good enough NOT to go. We know deep down inside that we must be with our own or risk losing that part of ourselves which we so identify with. The part we don't like but can't seem to give up.
If we were not swimming in the same emotional muck as those we complain about, we simply would not deal with it. We would either go and not be offended or we would know that the environment is not conducive to our emotional health and not subject ourselves to it.

I submit that we discontinue our yearly ritual of sniveling about having to attend "The Holidays".
I submit that we decide instead to address the issue within ourselves, at least, and with the others, ideally. Why is it up to "them" to take action towards resolution? Do it yourself, if for nothing more than to be able to feel empowered by yourself. RISE ABOVE.
If you are settled in the mind of "they won't change, listen, understand, etc." then you have not risen above. You have simply changed roles. Do more. Change again. It cannot be anymore painful than the current existence.

Thanksgiving is past for this year. Spend December being thankful that you are endowed with freedom and intelligence. Be grateful that you have the ability to take any situation and make the necessary changes, within yourself, toward improvement. The result may not be immediate but the feeling of "positive forward momentum" is instantaneous. It is empowering. It begets the purity of Love. It fills your heart with true gratitude for everything and everyone. Even your asshole brother.

Right...?

Why are we so driven to be heard? (he wrote in the HUGE SCREAMING example of "wanting to be heard")
But, truly, why are we so desirous of "being right"? I bring this up because I see it slowly decay my relationships and the relationships of those around me. I watch people run their HeadDramas until they don't even know the reality of their partners. They are having an entirely different relationship with a skewed version of their lover, in their head. They live a dream. Why? Because they don't feel like they are understood, justified, acknowledged.
This becomes, in most cases, a battle for "I'm right".
Conversation deteriorates into a pair of monologues as neither party feels "heard" so they both stop listening. We start ranting to each other desperately trying to be understood, never pausing for a single moment in order to understand. We talk at each other.
Why must we be heard? Do our lives fail or diminish if we are not? Does it kill us? Truly?
And why does it justify our discontinuation of listening to and understanding those we are supposed to Love the most? Why does not "being right" make it O.K. to be cruel and cold and disrespectful to the most important people in our lives?
So what if they are not listening right now. Is it really worth the pain you cause to you both by being offended by it?
Do you think that maybe they feel like YOU are not hearing THEM?

I think back on the people that I've lost in my life and realize that it wasn't worth it. I don't really know if I was right or wrong anymore. I don't know if they were. I can't even think of why they are no longer a part of my life. I know, though, that I miss them. I know that I gained nothing by defending my position, regardless of what it was.
I know that our pride was saved at the expense of our hearts.
And I know that none of us "heard" each other at all.
Who was right and about what is lost in the pain of rememberance...
In the end we were all wrong.

Just found it & copied it.

DESIDERATA II

IN WHATEVER RELIGION YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT, HOWEVER YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP, AND HOWEVER YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD YOUR TEACHERS … On these levels you will understand and grasp this message. It is not enough that this message is believed. It is a message to be lived. The essence of Universal Religion is Peace and Truth, with Love for and Kindness to all the creatures of the earth. Now is the time to explore this essence in your own life. A beginning must be made, and the place to begin is with and in you. You would reform the world? Begin with yourself, brother! The message of the unreformed reformer seldom inspires reformation. The heart of all Religion is love. And righteousness, which is love in action, is the fulfillment of Religion. Love not only family and friends - for love limited is love denied. Seek peace within yourself and seek too, within yourself the Divine Breath of Life. Persist in these things! Do not let up for a single moment! Through your faith and your deeds you shape your life and help shape the lives of others, as well. What a responsibility! The Spirit finds in you its agent and also its partner, and is, to the degree that you are aware of this and act on it, higher than your most exalted dreams. The New Age is coming, and in it the various Religions will disappear. The good, which is in each of them, will have fused and will become the common goal of all mankind. Know that you have the power to choose! Choose love, not hate; choose gentleness, not violence; choose holiness, not evil! Dare to believe that the Reign of Love and Peace is coming soon! Ready yourself for it! Ready yourself for it with deeds of righteousness! Righteousness is the door opener, and beyond the door is love. May power divine enter every aspect of your life endowing it with the rewards of material accomplishment, the treasures of purposeful existence, and the eternal light of spiritual achievement!

I saw this in my Minister's house and googled it. I thought I would share it with all of you.
Namaste',
Seraph

Fall for it!

Where have all the troubadours gone? Why did we so brashly push them way? Were their giddy assertions so insulting? It is funny that we try so hard to stay away from the "L word". It is as if we have forgotten why Love is the stuff of poetry and legends and fairy tales. We poke fun at new lovers. We coo at old married couples still deep in their romances. We downplay our own Love so as not to look foolish.
It seems this disregard is the root of our stagnation in relationships. It is why we discontinue to feel the passion of new love. Our walls keep our pride safe but in doing so, sacrifice our very hearts. We, ourselves, give up our Happily Ever After.
What, I ask, is the shame in being in Love? What is the harm in that particular foolishness? I say look foolish. I have fallen back into love and I revel in it! I twirl around singing about stars and hearts and summer blooms. Not that I ever stopped loving my wife, but there was a time not too long ago when it would have been hard to say if we were in Love or not. So here we are now, back to being "In Love"...back to newlyweds. I don't think either of us can say why. I don't think either one of us cares. We float around each other again, held aloft by clouds of desire. We pine for the other's embrace. A minute is too long to be apart. When she is away from me, I feel her kisses as ghosts on my lips. I smell her body and my skin dances in memory of her touch. I ache for her. And she for me. Call me a fool. Warn me of the treachery of walking along the cliff's edge with eyes aloft to Heaven. I will write my poetry and I will be laughed at.

Will you fall again and over again still? Will you brave ridicule to feel such depth in your own soul? Will you step into the night and gaze dreamily at the moon?
Look at the one you are with now. You loved them once, even if only for a moment, with that deepest love. Find that moment. Go, no, run back to that place. Don't worry about your tiny ego. Be not concerned with possible heartache. Bathe in it. Lose youself in that Love. Don't worry about who's laughing.
All the while, you see, we troubadours have been laughing, at you. We know Our Love is that Love of the deepest Soul. Our Love lives in that moment, in that perfect place.
Our love IS the stuff of legends.