Camping; Apache word for "stress"

There is nothing like a family outing to raise the old blood pressure. So, on a whim, we took the whole family (dogs and all) camping for the weekend. In reality it was only going to be for one night but the rain was so much fun we decided to stay over again. Alright, I had to throw one smart-ass comment in there just for you, My Devi. Truth be known, it was a very good experience for the whole family. It was my wife's idea and it was a good one. The kids had a blast! I think we will be doing it very often.

There was, although, one thing that came dashing to the fore. It became appearant to me that I am not showing any impovement, not externally anyway. My inner dialog has improved but, come to think of it, that also seems to go from one extreme to the other. (more on that later)
I guess I feel like I am being more compassionate but I am being perceived as even more impatient than before.

O.K., let me clarify. I think that others (my wife and kids) are seeing me as less patient and caring than I was last week. (I don't know how they actually "see" me. They could be thinking "dad's a saint!" but if they are they have failed to relay the message)
This is what I am feeling from them as of now.

Now, there are a couple of explanations for this. One is that I am, in fact, being less patient. That would really suck but it would make sense as I am trying to be conscious of my reactions and thereby causing myself additional stress. More stress=less patience. Another is that I am being more patient but because I am more conscious of my reactions, I am harder on myself and am blowing them out of proportion. Another is that whole "Murphy's Law" thing. I have often read that when you decide to work on a characteristic of the soul, the Universe will "help" you by dumping a bunch of challenges on you so you can "practice" getting it right. I, too, fail to see the logic in this but I think we can all agree that God/dess is not known for working within the realm of logic. In a nutshell, this says that the more patient I am the more my patience will be tried.

I'm kinda thinkin' this is the one, folks.

So with that in mind the ratio of "Pissed-off" to "Reasons to be Pissed-off" is looking great, but the actual "Pissed-off" is greater than it was this time last week. Therefore, I am definetly improving but there is no external evidence of improvment.

Wow, that was truly written with sincerity but it sure reads like a load of crap!



O.K., so...On the inhalation; "nonviolence". On the exhalation; "respond with Love"....