Just a day

Had an O.K. meditation this morning...little restless. I couldn't stay focused and actually adjusted my position once. It is incredible what the mind does when you give it nothing to play with. The thoughts that pop up out of nowhere are shocking. It is as though they are twisted by design. Like the ego is trying to shock you back into the three dimensional world. On my inhalation, "nonviolence" became "want violence" with accompanying graphics. On my exhalation "respond with love" became "not enough love" with a healthy dose of self doubt on the side. I watched a scary movie a few nights ago and all of the sudden scenes from it started popping into my head for no reason at all. I guess that's why monks don't partake of the horror genre.
In addition to this there was sleepiness to battle, but I made it through. I think I will start changing it up a little bit, though. In addition to "nonviolence" I might toss in "peace" or something. And maybe "kindness" or "compassion" on top of "respond with love".
On the other hand, perhaps the images and random thoughts are signs or rather attempts of the ego to get me to "change it up". Maybe that will defeat the purpose in the long run. Dull might be the key to the goal. O.K., it remains as it is. I shall not waiver! (cue trumpets and tympani)

In other news, I have decided that I will do push-ups whenever I cuss at the kids, push-ups being my preferred form of punishment. I told the children they may tell me (not in the heat of the moment, though) when I am using inappropriate language and I will do ten push-ups for each bad word.
They are having a blast.
My chest is killing me!